108 – Curiosity Is Not a Soft Skill, It Is a Leadership Survival Skill

Most leadership teams are not stuck because they lack intelligence, experience or another strategy day in the diary.

They are stuck because somewhere along the way they have stopped asking better questions.

In this week’s episode of Impactful Teamwork, I was joined by Ryan Ware, CEO of Connective Consulting Group, for a powerful conversation about curiosity, change, construction, leadership and what it really takes to bring human connection back into business.

Ryan works in the construction industry, an environment where teams are constantly forming, shifting and reforming around different projects. Rarely do you have the exact same group of people building the exact same thing in the exact same conditions, which makes it a brilliant lens through which to explore teamwork, adaptability and trust.

And yet, despite all that complexity, one of the biggest barriers Ryan sees is painfully familiar.

“We’ve always done it this way.”

That sentence might sound harmless, but in business it can become one of the most expensive phrases a team ever repeats.

The Danger Of Inherited Answers

One of the points Ryan made early in our conversation was how easily we inherit answers without ever stopping to question whether they are still valid.

Someone taught us a process years ago, so we keep using it.

A previous leader made a decision, so we assume it must have worked.

A team has always used a certain approach, so no one wants to be the awkward person who asks whether it still makes sense.

It reminded me of that old story about the woman who cut both ends off the joint of beef before putting it in the oven. When asked why, she said it was because her mother had always done it that way. Her mother said the same about her mother. Eventually, they asked the grandmother, who simply said, “I only did that because my oven was too small.”

How many business practices are really just oversized habits being squeezed into modern ovens?

Curiosity Helps Teams Stop Wasting Time

Ryan shared that one of the reasons curiosity matters so much is because without it, we can waste huge amounts of time, money and energy repeating processes that no one has validated.

In construction, that might mean using a detail or a method because it was used before, without knowing whether it actually worked well last time. In your business, it might look like repeating meeting structures, decision-making habits, reporting processes or handover routines that everyone tolerates but no one trusts.

This is where curiosity becomes deeply commercial.

Curiosity is not about slowing everything down for endless conversation. It is about making sure you are not speeding in the wrong direction with your eyes closed.

When teams are curious, they ask:

Does this still work?
Who needs to be involved earlier?
What are we assuming that might not be true?
Where are we repeating something because it feels safe?
What would make this easier, cleaner or more effective?

Those questions do not create delay. They prevent waste.

Why Fear Kills Curiosity

Of course, if curiosity were easy, every organisation would be full of brilliant questions, bold experiments and open conversations.

But they are not.

Because curiosity often requires us to admit that we do not know something, and in many businesses, not knowing still feels unsafe.

Ryan spoke about the fear that sits on both sides of change. Team members can fear looking stupid, being blamed or being judged, while leaders can fear losing control, becoming irrelevant or discovering that something they created no longer works.

This is why curiosity and psychological safety are so tightly connected.

If people believe that asking a question will make them look difficult, slow, inexperienced or negative, they will stay quiet. They will nod along in the meeting, complain in the corridor and then quietly disengage from the change.

And that is where execution starts to drag.

The Human Side Of Change

One of the things I loved about Ryan’s perspective is that he does not treat change as a purely operational challenge.

Yes, there are systems, processes, technologies and commercial outcomes to consider, but underneath every change are human beings trying to make sense of what is happening and what it means for them.

This matters because forced compliance rarely creates sustainable performance.

People might follow the instruction, attend the meeting and use the new system because they have been told to, but that is very different from becoming willing participants in the change.

And this is where leaders need to stop looking for silver bullets and start building connection.

If you are investing in new technology, AI, new operating models or new ways of working, surely you want to know whether your people understand the purpose behind it, believe in the direction and feel connected enough to contribute to the process.

Otherwise, you are not leading change. You are simply announcing it.

Business Is A Living System, Not A Machine

This is where Ryan’s work and my own philosophy really meet.

Too often, we treat businesses like machines. We focus on inputs, outputs, processes and efficiency, then wonder why people feel exhausted, disconnected or resistant.

But business is not a machine. It is a living system.

Like nature, it is made up of relationships, energy, signals, feedback loops and interdependence. When one part of the system changes, it impacts everything else.

That is why siloed decision-making creates so much friction.

The CFO introduces a new system without fully involving operations. Marketing changes the message without connecting with delivery. The CEO drives a new vision, but the leadership team has not created the behavioural alignment needed to execute it.

Everyone is busy, but the system is not joined up.

And when the system is not joined up, momentum leaks everywhere.

Curiosity Moves Teams From Judgement To Understanding

One of the most powerful lines Ryan shared was this:

“If you have time to judge, you have time to be curious.”

That landed deeply for me because judgement is often what fills the gap when curiosity is missing.

We judge someone for not understanding.

We judge another team for being difficult.

We judge a colleague for pushing back.

We judge the pace, the resistance, the silence or the reaction, without ever stopping to ask what might be happening underneath.

Curiosity interrupts that pattern.

It helps us move from “What is wrong with them?” to “What do I not yet understand?”

That shift alone can transform a leadership team because it creates the conditions for better conversations, stronger relationships and faster problem-solving.

Why Relationships Are Strategic, Not Fluffy

Ryan also spoke beautifully about the power of connection, including how he can sit in an airport or hotel and have a two-hour conversation with a complete stranger, leaving more energised than when he arrived.

There is no agenda in those conversations. No transaction. No immediate outcome.

Just curiosity, perspective and human connection.

In business, we often dismiss this kind of relationship-building as a nice extra, something to do when there is time. Yet the truth is that relationships are social capital, and social capital is one of the most valuable assets a team can build.

When people know each other, trust each other and understand what matters to each other, everything moves more easily.

Difficult conversations become less loaded.

Collaboration becomes less forced.

Decision-making becomes less political.

People are more likely to pick up the phone, share information early and solve issues before they become expensive problems.

That is not soft. That is smart.

What Construction Can Teach Every Leadership Team

One of the reasons I was so keen to bring Ryan onto the podcast is that construction provides such a powerful example of dynamic teaming.

Project teams often come together from different organisations, disciplines and cultures. Architects, engineers, contractors, subcontractors, specialists, suppliers and clients all need to work together, often under pressure, with significant financial and safety implications.

That means connection cannot be left to chance.

There has to be a shared understanding of how people will communicate, raise concerns, challenge assumptions and make decisions.

In many ways, this mirrors what is happening in so many organisations today. Teams are more fluid, work is more cross-functional and traditional hierarchy is no longer enough to get things done.

The future belongs to leaders who can create connection quickly, build trust intentionally and keep curiosity alive when the pressure rises.

Curiosity Creates Ownership

Ryan shared a brilliant example from his own leadership experience, where he joined a team that had been through significant change and several different leaders.

He knew that if he came in simply telling people what to do, he would create more resistance.

So instead, he acknowledged what they had been through, created space for honest conversations and invited people to become part of shaping the change.

He did not pretend to have perfect clarity from day one. He told them they would gain clarity through each step, through testing, learning and adapting together.

That is such an important leadership lesson.

People do not need you to have every answer, but they do need to trust how you will navigate the unknown.

When leaders create space for people to contribute, experiment and learn, ownership increases because people are no longer having change done to them. They are helping create it.

Business Needs To Become A Laboratory

One of the phrases I loved from our conversation was Ryan’s idea of treating business like a laboratory.

That does not mean being reckless or careless with risk. It means creating enough safety, structure and curiosity for people to test, learn and improve.

This is something I talk about often through the lens of Teamship.

If you want a team that is adaptable, energised and able to respond to uncertainty, you cannot build a culture where everyone is terrified of getting things wrong.

You need to reward the try.

You need to help people test small, learn quickly and apply that learning to the next decision.

Because if your team only acts when the answer is guaranteed, you will be too slow for the world we are now operating in.

The Leadership Shift We Need Now

The old model of leadership prized certainty, control and having the answer.

The new model requires curiosity, connection and the courage to explore what is emerging.

That does not mean leaders become vague or indecisive. Quite the opposite.

It means they create enough clarity around purpose, direction and guardrails, while also allowing enough freedom for people to think, contribute and adapt.

This is how teams become more resilient.

This is how execution speeds up.

This is how leadership becomes less about one person carrying all the weight and more about the whole herd moving with awareness, trust and shared responsibility.

Practical Ways To Build More Curiosity In Your Team

If you want to bring more curiosity into your leadership team, start with the conversations you are already having.

You do not need a huge initiative. You need better questions and a willingness to listen to the answers.

Try asking:

Where are we assuming something still works because it used to?
What are people not saying in meetings that they are saying afterwards?
Which process creates the most friction for our team or customers?
Where are we judging another person or team instead of trying to understand them?
What small experiment could help us learn faster?
What are we afraid we might lose if this change succeeds?

These are not fluffy questions. They are questions that reveal hidden drag, surface unspoken fears and help your team move from compliance to candour.

Final Thought: Stay Curious, Especially When It Feels Easier Not To

Curiosity is easy when everything feels light, safe and interesting.

The real test is whether you can stay curious when pressure rises, deadlines loom and people behave in ways you do not understand.

That is where leadership lives.

Because curiosity is not about having endless questions with no direction. It is about staying open enough to see what is really happening, brave enough to name what is not working and connected enough to find a better way forward together.

If your team has become stuck, defensive, siloed or slow to act, the answer may not be another strategy session.

It may be a deeper return to curiosity.

Not curiosity as a concept, but curiosity as a practice.

A way of leading.

A way of listening.

A way of building sustainable business momentum in a world that refuses to stand still.

So here is the question I would invite you to take back to your team this week:

Where have we stopped being curious, and what might open up if we started asking better questions again?

Listen To The Full Episode

In this episode of Impactful Teamwork, Ryan Ware and I explore curiosity, psychological safety, human connection, construction teams, AI, change fatigue and what it really takes to build teams that can adapt without losing their humanity.

Listen now and discover how curiosity could become one of the most powerful leadership tools in your business.