by Julia Felton | Jun 27, 2011
Horses, like people, are seeking trusting relationships and none more so than my young fillies Thistle and Bracken. New to the world they are finding their way and learning how to trust. I therefore found this article by Stephen M. R. Covey on the Speed of Trust really insightful in helping me think about how to build trust with my ponies. The principles work for any relationship.
Have you ever trusted someone–and gotten “burned?” Have you ever failed to trust someone and missed significant opportunities as a result? The practical issues with regard to extending trust are these: How do you know when to trust somebody? And how can you extend trust to people in ways that create rich rewards without taking inordinate risk?
When you’re dealing with trust, it seems there are two extremes. On one end of the spectrum, people don’t trust enough. They’re suspicious. They hold things close to the vest. Often, the only people they really trust are themselves. On the other end, people are too trusting. They’re totally gullible. They believe anyone, trust everyone. They have a simplistic, naive view of the world, and they don’t even really think (except superficially) about the need to protect their interests.
Extending trust can bring great results. It also creates the possibility of significant risk. The decision to trust or not to trust is always an issue of managing risk and return. So how do you hit the “sweet spot?” How do you extend trust in a way that maximizes the dividends and minimizes the risk?
Life is filled with risk. However, as noted historian and law professor Stephen Carter has observed: “Civility has two parts: generosity when it is costly, and trust, even when there is risk.” The objective, then, is not to avoid risk. In the first place, you can’t; and in the second place, you wouldn’t want to because risk taking is an essential part of life and leadership. Instead, the objective is to manage risk wisely–to extend trust in a way that will avoid the “taxes” and create the greatest “dividends” over time.
Learning how to extend what I call “Smart Trust” is a function of two factors–your propensity to trust and your analysis. “Propensity to trust” is primarily a matter of the heart. It’s the tendency, inclination, or predisposition to believe that people are worthy of trust and a desire to extend it to them freely. “Analysis” is primarily a matter of the mind. It’s the ability to analyze, evaluate, theorize, consider implications and possibilities, and come up with logical decisions and solutions.
As you think about these two factors–“propensity to trust” and “analysis”–how would you rate yourself on each? Do you typically tend to trust people easily–or do you tend to be suspicious and hold things close? Do you tend to analyze, theorize, and ponder over things–or do you give problems your cursory attention and then move on?
While extending trust to other people always brings with it some risk, the often greater risk that’s frequently ignored is what happens when managers don’t extend trust to others. These managers usually incur much larger taxes than they think–including bureaucracy, politics, disengagement, and turnover–and they often lose the dividends that flow from extending trust, such as innovation, collaboration, partnering and loyalty. Sadly, their suspicion sometimes even helps produce the very behaviors they fear, which further validates their suspicion. By treating people as if they can’t be trusted, they help to create a collusive, downward cycle of distrust. And this is one reason why–in this “flat world” global economy–not trusting people is often the greatest risk of all.
With regard to “propensity to trust,” I once knew a business owner who was so suspicious that his employees might be stealing from him, that he would literally interrogate them almost daily. He would even do occasional spot “frisk checks” when they left the office. This man was convinced that people were trying to steal from him. In reality, no one was, but his suspicious actions drove away his most talented people who wouldn’t tolerate working in such a distrustful environment or for such a suspicious boss.
With regard to “analysis,” it’s helpful to consider three vital variables, which you can do by asking these questions:
1. What is the opportunity (the situation or task at hand)?
2. What is the risk involved? (Possible outcomes? Likelihood of outcomes? Importance of outcomes?)
3. What is the credibility (character and competence) of the people involved?
Smart Trust doesn’t mean that you extend trust to everyone. Based on the circumstances, your judgment may be to not extend trust or to extend only a limited measure of trust. In extending trust, the general guideline is to extend trust conditionally to those who are earning it and abundantly to those who have already done so. Keep in mind that even when you extend trust abundantly, there should still always be clear expectations and accountability because those are principles that actually enhance trust.
I affirm that in our “flat world” economy, the ability to establish, grow, extend, and restore trust is the key professional and personal competency of our time. And the ability to exercise Smart Trust is a vital part of that competency. It will enable you to create a powerful balance and synergy between analysis and the propensity to trust, which, in turn, will produce the judgment that enables you to effectively leverage yourself and to inspire the talent, creativity, synergy, and highest contribution of others.
Note: The preceding article is based on the book, The Speed of Trust, by Stephen M. R. Covey.
by Julia Felton | Jun 20, 2011
This week’s blog is inspired by Mark Fritz and his weekly quotes in leadership. Recently Mark stated:
“Leadership is influence, and the consistency of our behaviours is what keeps our influence with others high. However, the hardest person to influence is ourselves, as we often ask ourselves “Why am I not able to do it?”. Successful leaders understand that the foundation of their success is built by leading themselves first”.
This statement really made me think as I resonated with it so much. Horses are always looking for a leader to take care of them. Let’s face it being a leader is tough, and few want to do it when others are willing to assume that mantel. However, what is really interesting is that whilst a horse is happy to be a follower he will only remain in that role if he knows the leader is competent and making sound decisions. The minute the leader demonstrates poor decision making and acts in an indecisive way, the horse is forced to take over the leadership role in order to keep himself safe.
This has so many implications for organisations as unlike my horses, employees in organisations cannot assume the leadership role if their boss lacks leadership style. Rather they are forced to stay and keep on operating in the same way, despite the fact they are aware of serious leadership flaws. This made me wonder how those employees feel. I suspect they lack trust in their leader and in fact often get disheartened believing that they could do a better job. How demoralising and demotivating that must be.
The Peter Principle states that:
“We are promoted to our level of incompetence”
So given this fact there must be an awful lot of leaders in business today that are not really happy in that role. In my opinion these “uncomfortable” leaders often lack the charisma and ability to earn respect and instil trust in their teams. What a tragedy this is and for what it is worth in my view many of these people lack these essential management skills as they can’t apply them to their own lives. In my observations of successful leaders these are the ones that have a real focus, desire and passion. They know what they want in their lives and this drive is infectious. It rallies people to support them and as such their tribe grows and grows. They lead by example with passion and committment. They understand that real leaders can’t lead others until they can lead themselves.
Are you leading yourself, the hardest person, or are you letting life lead you. Leadership is not for the faint-hearted. Step up to the mark and claim your power and get a tribe of people following you. Just like my horses want to follow me.
by Julia Felton | May 25, 2011
The way I see it, women approach leadership and horses a lot differently than men do. As children in our imaginary games riding Pegasus, Pegasus reads our minds and takes us to enchanted places. Girls are attracted to Pegasus from their desire to experience a magical connection through a magical ride; while boys grab their broomstick, and ride to a destination that they tell their imaginary horse to go.
My method address horses more like a woman of course because I am wanting a relationship with a horse more than any service I might get from the horse. The service I do receive from the horse is a way to enjoy our connection from a co creative process. It turned out that in competition, my method could hold up to any other method that was not interested in developing a friendship from the training process.
I have seen methods that are driven by a dominant approach through a masculine energy develop friendship with a horse, but the horse had to give up the ability to say “no,” or the power to change the subject, or have any say in the matter of his training at all. The masculine intent was not to abuse the horse in the best of circumstances, but never considered the relationship with a horse as a love interest that women do.
This caused a lot of woman to become unsatisfied with how horse training methods were applied to horses. The fact was that there was no choice in the matter if you were the horse.
It did not satisfy me. I see the treatment of horses to be abusive even in the nicest approach. The reason is that the method is brought to the horse whether the horse wanted it or not.
Masculine energy uses directive leadership and feminine energy uses supportive leadership. Women prefer not to get involved with leadership if they can help it, which is too bad because women are very good in the leadership role if they give their self half a chance.
Women understand something that men still need to consider- and that is leading a horse is part of a co creative process. They also believe that this co creative process is capable of producing the best performance. And that for leadership to really work out- you will need to follow your horse more than you will be leading him in the beginning to create a bond and a willing partner. Once you get this done, a horse will do just about anything for you without a lot of manipulation to get him to do it.
Where women fail to connect with a horse is created from their not understanding how to set up clear boundaries. It is a puzzle piece that is the missing ingredient in feminine energy. A woman has a tendency not to know when to allow, when not to allow, what to allow, what not to allow -and that to gain leadership and respect, boundaries must be flexible to be able to train the horse to have a desire to follow your lead over his own. How I do this through my Waterhole Rituals is by empowering a woman through many activities surrounding intimate interactions with a horse because that is when women are most comfortable. We are all about the bond and the heart felt connection. After we have made this connection, we can do just about anything -just from our natural instincts as supportive partners which comes very naturally to us.
When a woman learns how to gain leadership from using flexible boundaries she finds that leadership isn’t something she needs to demand from a horse. Once the boundaries are understood, horses have a strong desire to naturally follow your lead. This is very simple really. This is achieved from the horse working around your wants and needs that take place in regards to you personal space, and how you are feeling in the moment. Horses and women know how to work around each others needs in a partnership.
I have seen that when a woman learns that she is solely responsible for her own personal control of her personal space that all of a sudden, she sees how to use this way of being into her relationships in her life, and in affairs of the heart. She begins to turn the table on her life, and receive more respect and better treatment in all relationships. It is just a small puzzle piece we need to gain.
Masculine and Feminine and Vice Versa
In human beings there is both male and female energy. To really have the optimum dance with a horse requires that those energies are in balance, and used in a positive way. Both energies need to work at the appropriate times supporting each other in leadership. A horse needs a much higher percentage of female energy than male energy. However, as the relationship grows to a fine art of dancing, male energy creates the ultimate dance when the desire to be led, and to dance is the complete focus of the horse.
In Closing
We are all puzzle pieces and we need each other to be fulfilled. I believe what I have to offer is strengthening feminine empowerment through feminine leadership by giving women the ability to know what to allow and what not to allow, when to allow and when not to allow. Women by their nature are missing this puzzle piece to be truly empowered in the world of business and affairs of the heart. A woman’s power lies in their innate knowledge that leaders must follow the follower more than the follower ever needs to follow the leader in order to reach harmony in a working partnership.
There is a formula to a working partnership where both male and female energy create the perfect world. My understanding is that the map that you follow is the formula to achieving your goals. There are patterns to be followed that lead to goals. These patterns are thrown out because of people wanting short cuts. Our journey needs to always be a study and lessons of our personal growth as we are reaching for our goals. This way, the journey stays sacred, and our ethics and morals and our heart are not destroyed by the goals that we set for ourselves. We are now out of balance. We now are aware that we are. Horses show us where fairness lies and guide us to our strengths and our missing parts and show us how to obtain our goals for the ultimate connection we are longing to achieve when we give them freedom to be who they are to lead us there.
Posted by my equine mentor Carolyn Resnick on www.carolynresnickblog.com
by Julia Felton | Mar 6, 2011
You know when you hear something more than once in a few days you really should check in it, well that’s just happened to me. On Thursday at the Academy of Chief Executives Mark Fritz was talking to us About the Power of Ownership in Leading Across Distances and Cultures and during his amazing seminar he told us we should check out a TED video by Simon Sinek on Leadership. Then I find out my friend Jezz Moore, from Moon Cow, has tweeted the same thing. Synchronicity working or what, but given I’ve been hit with with twice in as many days I felt compelled to watch the video. You can see it here at:
http://www.ted.com/talks/simon_sinek_how_great_leaders_inspire_action.html
What inspired me most about this video was the fact that we all need to begin with our WHY. For the last few years I’ve been told by many mentors and coaches that WHY is the most important thing. When you are clear on your WHY then all subsequent actions like HOW and WHEN will fall into place. Personally, I’ve been struggling to find my WHY – although day by day it becomes clearer. One of my coaches has told me that reason for my inaction is that WHY is not strong enough. One thing that I have observed is that many of the great teachers and successful business people in this world have really strong WHY’s, in many cases driven from a state of despair due to financial ruin or serious health concerns. I find it kind of sad that it takes a serious personal experience for people to become clear on what their WHY is. Surely we don’t need to all reach these depths of despair to be successful.?
What Simon Sinek so clearly articulates in this video is the Golden Circle that starts at the centre with WHY, then contains another concentric circle with HOW and finally a concentric circle with WHAT.
Sinek suggests that really successful organisations and people (such as Apple) start with their WHY. They inspire others to do business with them because they have the same beliefs. Apple do not pitch their advertising based on WHAT they do but rather WHY they do it. This is why they can sell computers, phones and music and no-one doubts the authenticity of the company. Compare this to Dell who like many other companies focus their advertising strategy of the WHAT. Dell make computers and now we are so embedded with the fact that this there is core competency that we can’t conceive of purchasing same a phone or and MP3 player from them.
Furthermore Sinek goes on to explain that purchasing decisions are based on biology not psychology and that the WHAT appeals to the neo-cortex of the brain which controls rational thought whereas the WHY and HOW align with the limbic system The limbic system is concerned with trust and loyalty and decision-making that drives behaviour. So by appealing to a consumers WHY you instantly put them in a place where the buying decision can be influenced by the limbic brain.
So how does this lead onto today’s lesson from the horses. It is just that when a horses meets you he is asking three things:
- who are you
- what do you want; and
- how do you operate.
In this way he is concerned with what is happening in our limbic brain. A horse is also always looking to us to determine our ability to lead. Are we trustworthy and reliable? From this state of why the horse can quickly make that decision on how best to interact with us. Maybe this is why horses are so good as Teachers. They make sure we stay out of our thinking, rational neo-cortex brain and force us to be congruent with who we really are. They challenge our WHY and who we think we are. Invariably in coaching sessions clients have AHA experiences as they realise who they thought they were and how they are acting are incompatible. Horses challenge our WHY are therefore our integrity and congruence and since they are non-judgemental they just feed back what they experience. It can be an eye-opening experience for most people.
So for today spend some time considering what is your WHY. Why are you on this earth and what is your purpose in life. If you need some help here some great resources that I have found really helpful are The Passion Test by Chris and Janet Attwood and Success DNA Detector which can be found on http://www.authorityformula.com/
I’d love to hear your comments below on what your WHY is.
by Julia Felton | Feb 12, 2011
Todays blog has been inspired by one of my clients that I was coaching this week. Let’s call the client Susan. Well Susan had just had a big row with her partner and as a result was feeling sad and angry. She just wanted to left alone and so she decided to go for a walk. There was light drizzle in the air and she ambled around the farm that she called home. She could hear the bird song in the background as her mind replayed the argument in her head. She was upset by how she had let her boyfriend manipulate her again and make her feel unworthy.
Without thinking her walk ended up taking her to the field where her horses lived. Susan heart lifted at the sight of her horses grazing silently in the field. Part of her wanted to join their herd for the safety and security they brought and yet at the same time she felt anxious about letting her horses see her when she was in this emotional state. Susan had always been taught that she needed to be strong around her horses and display strong leadership. She did not want to bring them the negative energy that she was experiencing and yet her feet drew her into the field. She climbed the fence and then found a log and sat down, sharing territory with her horses, something she had done many times before.
For two weeks Susan had been sharing territory with her horses and they had just ignored her. They acknowledged her presence as she entered the field but just kept themselves to themselves, grazing quietly and never interacting with her. However, today things were very different. After ten minutes her trusted elder horse came over, totally unprompted, and just stood next to Susan. Susan said it was just as if the horse knew she needed support and was totally willing to be there for her with no expectation. For Susan the realisation came that she did not always need to be strong but could show vulnerability and that was fine.
Susan’s story touched me profoundly as I recalled how many times in the past I have put on that armour of bravery when in fact I was in need of help. I’ve seen this happen numerous times in the corporate world, particularly leaders, who often think they should have all the answers. Well the reality is that when we let out guard down and show people that as leaders we too are vulnerable we can drastically improve our likeability to others. Somehow we are no longer aloof, we become approachable human-beings and this helps us form connections with others.
So my thought for today is that if you are feeling vulnerable do not think that this is necessarily a sign of weakness. Share your concerns and fears and you might be amazed at the level of support that you will receive. As always I’d love to hear your comments.
by Julia Felton | Jan 14, 2011
Struggling to achieve success? Maybe you need to hone some skills. What skills exactly? Well, after some intensive reading and study of successful leaders in business, industry, government, and personal development, I’ve found that there are 10 core skills that the most successful leaders all share. While these leaders may not be masters of every particular skill, they have, at least, a basic knowledge of them. Anyone looking to achieve higher levels of as a leader, in business, volunteering, or even just at home, would be well served by strengthening their abilities in each of these skill sets.
Critical Thinking
Successful leaders all have powerful critical thinking skills. The ability to quickly survey and analyze a situation then identify the core issues that need to be dealt with is key to business success. As is, the ability to understand new issues and factors that impact one’s goals and designs.
Creative Thinking
These leaders also have varying abilities to think, well, differently. They have the ability to step out of rigid mindsets so that they can explore potential new ideas that others may consider risky, crazy, or silly.
Listening
Great leaders are great listeners. Experienced at focusing their energy to the task, this includes listening, so that when they listen, they are very focused on hearing everything that’s being said so that they can make well-informed decisions.
Reading
The ability to read is vital to lifelong personal and professional success. Leaders in any industry or area all tend to be good readers who are exposed to large amounts of information through reports, newspapers, white papers, books, etc. While they may not be speed readers, they are excellent at grasping the main ideas and context of the material they do read.
Writing
They may not write often. And they may not write a lot. But when they do, successful leaders are clear, concise, and to the point.
Speaking
Perhaps the most important languaging skill, the best leaders are also good speakers. They are able to present their ideas verbally to audiences of all types and sizes, as well as easily change their presentation style so that they meet an audience’s needs. While it may not be a skill that a leader is ever completely comfortable with, she understands that if she can’t speak about the issues her business faces, nobody can.
Motivating
Skilled leaders are superb motivators. They understand that each of us is propelled by our own, personal, motivations. These leaders are able to apply all of their languaging skills (listening, reading, writing, and speaking) to create powerful group goals and visions that spur people to give 110%.
Networking
Successful people have successful networks. They have contacts, associates, and friends in a wide array of fields who they can call on for ideas, input, and assistance. These leaders actively cultivate and grow their networks all the time.
Delegating
To some, this may not seem like a leadership skill, but it is. Leaders who excel are leaders who don’t try to take everything on themselves. Indeed, they understand that they can’t do everything. They easily delegate all but the most important of tasks to their employees, assistants, and networks. They create systems so that they are available to focus on the most important issues at any moment.
Evolving
In evaluating successful leaders, I think this is the most powerful, yet most difficult skill to master. Evolving is the ability to adapt, quickly, to the newest technologies, styles, and modes of thinking that create success. It is a skill requiring a supreme sense of self-confidence coupled with extreme humility. For leaders, it is a skill applied not just for personal success, but also for the success of their business, their workers, and their families. It provides those who can master it, the opportunity to achieve life-long success in all areas of life.
Article by Jim Allen, the Big Idea Coach, helps you make your small ideas big & your big ideas real. www.BigIdeaCoach.com
by Julia Felton | Jan 5, 2011
We are all leaders, some lead themselves, some lead others. Being a congruent leader makes life easier and more meaningful. Equine Assisted Education is designed to help everybody lead the life they want to lead in the way they want to lead it.
Now that people are educated and think for themselves, we need a paradigm shift in their development. Congruent, inspirational leadership by example is the order of the day. This harmonious leadership is about four things:
1) being clear about what you want at any given moment and understanding what is congruent for you,
2) understanding your peers and those you are leading, the way they think and communicate and
3) simultaneously focusing on both 1 and 2 in order to
4) take appropriate and effective action.
This brings huge benefits to yourself and everybody around you.
Equine Guided Leadership Development is a powerful experiential approach for developing aligned personal skills in action by working in partnership with horses. You try out your skills by working with a large, powerful horse to do simple tasks. Why horses? Because horses are extremely canny herd animals that only respond well to good congruent leadership and instinctively challenge weak leaders. They don’t have a personal agenda. They just respond to who and how you are at any moment. Believe it or not, human-to-human communication is 93% non-verbal yet most education and training concentrates on the remaining 7%,words. The remaining 93% is largely neglected. This means there is enormous scope to achieve a lot even with just a little work on that 93%.
This is what makes horses so useful – 100% of a horse’s communication is non-verbal. They don’t understand words, so you can’t smooth-talk them or hoodwink them. They’re experts in non-verbal communication. And they’re big and powerful, so intimidation is not an option. As you learn to lead a horse without words (and without force), you are developing the neglected 93%. You will be amazed at how instant and accurate the feedback is. Guaranteed.
I’d love to hear about any experiences that you have had with Equine Facilitated Learning.
by Julia Felton | Dec 21, 2010
Throughout the world many leaders are struggling with the leadership challenges emerging from the current climate. Some are driven by greed, some by fear and many just running around like headless chickens not sure what to do; they all have one thing in common they do not demonstrate a flexible leadership style that enables them to adapt to a rapidly changing environment, get buy in from their followers and lead strongly forward for the good of all.
So what do horses have to do with leadership; simply put they are masters of sustainable, flexible and effective leadership. They have been demonstrating it for the last 5 million years.
Windsor based Acorns2Oaks and German based HorseDream have partnered to bring a powerful and profound leadership development programme to the UK. Both Acorn2Oaks and HorseDream have an impressive track record of bringing “Horse Assisted Education” to organisations throughout Europe. Their clients include Cisco Systems, SAP, Allied Irish Bank, CAP Gemini, Proctor and Gamble, Nokia, McDonald’s, Generali, Würth Elektronik and AOL Germany. This new partnership is the first of many spreading throughout Europe.
David Harris founder of Acorns2Oaks says” The leadership learning from the horses is the most effective, flexible and sustainable available. Together with HorseDream we have taken many hundreds of corporate leaders through our programmes and we always get amazing learning and results. Organisations often come back again and again. The partnership with HorseDream means we can now provide consistent programmes to a high standard and quality throughout Europe. This is a very attractive proposition to European companies.” Acorn2Oaks are the first of the “HorseDream” partners to run “HorseDream Partner Licensed Workshops” outside of Germany.
I am delighted to have been one of the first students to attend the HorseDream Partner Licensed Workshop run by Dave Harris. Under his guidance and mentoring I now offer Horse Assisted Education in leadership, teamwork and communication to companies and individuals. Please contact me to discuss how Business HorsePower can help you and your teams.
by Julia Felton | Dec 3, 2010
A recent study reported in the Evening Standard suggests that natural leaders are not always born and that most of the desirable personal characteristics can be learned. So in today’s ever changing world what characteristics are employers looking for in leaders. The study suggests the following:
- Ability to inspire and motivate – 36%
- High levels of emotional intelligence – 34%
- Ability to deal with people – 34%
- Natural leadership – 24%
- Trustworthiness – 22%
- A natural communicator – 22%
- Possessing vision – 22%
- Drive and ambition – 22%
So how do employees learn these desirable characteristics? One way is to provide the employee with a mirror of their behaviour because they may not be aware of the traps they are falling into. They also need to know what they become under pressure. Traditional ways of creating this mirror are through coaching programmes or 360 degree feedback. The challenge with these practices is that they can lack objectivity because human intervention is required which could cloud the mirror.
Horse Assisted Education provides a cost-effective means of getting that feedback as the horse mirrors exactly how you are feeling. Horses provide us with immediate, 100% non-judgemental, observable feedback, mirroring our internal reality. Living in the 93% of the non-verbal world of communication, they are not impressed by position, status or power. They cannot tell who is the CEO or who is the janitor. They just respond to what is presented to them.
Horses mirror the essential qualities of leadership – trust, authenticity, honesty, intuition, listening, a willingness of spirit and perseverance. They have no agenda with us. They simply reflect our strength of character, our heart, our internal incongruence and our self-limiting perceptions. They help us understand that leadership begins with who we are being. Horses help us close the gap between how we actually present ourselves to others, and how we think we are being.
So next time you are looking for an innovative management development programme just consider what horses could teach you.
