Most entrepreneurs will show you the highlight reel.
Revenue months. Team photos. The “we made it” moment.
Very few will tell you about the five days off in a whole year, and three of those because the building was literally closed.
That’s why my conversation with Steve Frazier hit differently.
Steve is a serial entrepreneur and a self-sabotage coach, and he pulled back the curtain on what it really takes to build something that survives, not just something that looks good on LinkedIn.
And if you’re leading a team right now, scaling, hiring, or trying to grow without burning out, this episode is a wake-up call wrapped in practicality.
Let’s break down the biggest lessons.
1) Passion is not a poster, it’s a power source
Steve’s entrepreneurial journey started early, paper route at 11, restaurant owner by 28, building and operating multiple businesses across decades.
But the part I want you to sit with is this:
When he took over that first restaurant, it was failing, losing serious money, and everyone knew it. He worked relentlessly to turn it around. Five days off in year one. Two genuine days off.
Now, I’m not glorifying grind. I’m not here for martyrdom-as-marketing.
I am here for the truth.
Because passion isn’t an aesthetic. It’s what fuels you when the “new business energy” wears off and the real work begins.
If you’re building something without that inner fire, the first hard season will take you out.
Ask yourself:
- Do I actually care about the problem I’m solving?
- Would I still do this if nobody clapped?
- If it gets hard (and it will), what pulls me over the wall?
2) Your business will mirror your blind spots
Steve shared something brutally honest: he built a solid coaching programme, something genuinely valuable… and it failed.
Not because the offer was rubbish.
Because nobody knew about it.
He didn’t know how to reach his target market, spent money on coaching, and still never booked a call.
This is where self-sabotage gets sneaky.
Sometimes it’s not “fear of success” in a dramatic sense.
It’s the quiet avoidance of the uncomfortable basics:
- Marketing that actually reaches humans
- Testing messages in the wild
- Asking directly for the conversation
- Repeating what works instead of reinventing every week
In horse terms, this is the moment you think you’re leading, but your energy is inconsistent, and the herd does not follow. Not because they’re difficult, but because they’re honest.
Your business will do the same.
Spot the pattern:
- Great ideas, poor follow-through
- Constant rebrands instead of consistent delivery
- Paying for advice, then not implementing it
- Waiting to feel ready before you act
3) The “one basket” problem: build more than one leg to stand on
A powerful strategy Steve shared was about revenue streams.
His earlier business depended on one stream. When it didn’t land, the whole thing wobbled.
With his newer venture, “Release the Coffee Cuffs”, he built multiple streams:
- A book to build credibility and deepen expertise
- Coaching for support and accountability
- Speaking as a scalable visibility channel
Whether you love his topic or not, this is a leadership lesson.
Single points of failure create fragility.
Teams do this too.
One leader becomes the bottleneck.
One department holds all the knowledge.
One person carries the culture.
That’s not “high performance”. That’s a stress fracture waiting to happen.
Action to take this week:
- Identify your “single point of failure”, in your business or your team
- Build one additional support structure around it (process, training, shared ownership, documentation, delegation)
4) The wall exists for a reason
Steve referenced a concept I love because it’s so painfully accurate: the wall.
The wall is the point where most people stop.
Not because they can’t go further, but because they’re not willing to pay the price.
And here’s the uncomfortable truth: the price isn’t always money.
Sometimes the price is:
- discomfort
- ego bruising
- time sacrifice
- being misunderstood
- learning a new skill instead of hiding in your strengths
- letting go of the herd’s approval
Steve gave the example of someone who wanted a business dream but realised she wasn’t willing to sacrifice time with her children right now, and chose to pause.
That is not failure.
That is aligned leadership.
Because part of leading yourself is knowing what season you are in.
Winter is not the time to demand spring results.
5) Self-sabotage is often physical before it’s mental
This surprised some listeners, and I’m glad it came up.
Steve talked about physical self-sabotage, caffeine, alcohol, nicotine, lack of sleep, overeating, and the way these habits quietly drive our performance.
In business, we like to pretend we’re brains on sticks.
But teams are living systems. Leaders are living systems.
Energy always tells the truth.
If you’re running on stimulants, stress, and adrenaline, you might look productive, but you’re borrowing from tomorrow.
And that debt always gets collected.
Reflection:
- What habit am I using to override fatigue?
- What would change in my leadership if I protected my energy like a scarce resource?
6) The simplest anti-sabotage tool: daily wins, written down
One of the most practical takeaways was Steve’s “WINS for the day” habit.
At night, he writes:
- three wins from the day (business or personal)
- what he will do tomorrow
It’s simple, and that’s why it works.
It stops your brain spinning.
It builds evidence that you’re moving.
It creates direction without drama.
Try it for 7 days:
- 3 wins
- 3 priorities for tomorrow
- 1 gratitude note before sleep
Watch what happens to your clarity.
7) You do not need the herd’s approval
This line landed hard.
Steve talked about how people get uncomfortable when you change, when you opt out, when you stop doing what the herd does.
Whether it’s decaf, no alcohol, less TV, more ambition, or a new direction.
In horse herds, there is coherence, not conformity. The herd moves together because it’s safe, not because they all want the same thing.
Human herds are different.
They often punish divergence.
So if you’re building something bold, you need to build a spine strong enough to be disliked by people who benefit from you staying small.
Want the full conversation?
If you’ve been feeling stuck, scattered, or secretly sabotaging your next level, this episode will meet you where you are, and then lovingly push you forward.
Listen to my interview with Steve Frazier on Impactful Teamwork and tell me this:
Where are you hitting the wall right now, and what would it look like to climb anyway?
Show Notes
00:00 Introduction to Impactful Teamwork
00:53 Meet Steve Frazier: Serial Entrepreneur and Self-Sabotage Coach
02:12 Steve’s Entrepreneurial Journey: From Paperboy to Restaurateur
03:39 Lessons from Business Failures and Pivots
05:26 The Birth of ‘Release the Coffee Cuffs’
17:28 Strategies to Overcome Self-Sabotage in Business
20:40 The Importance of Mindset and Motivation
27:35 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
You can connect with Steve Frasier here
