Most people think leadership lessons arrive in boardrooms, big deals, or breakthrough moments. Mine arrived in the middle of a Thai detox retreat, after a year that cracked me right open.
This isn’t a strategy piece.
It’s a truth piece.
Because if we want sustainable momentum, we need to talk about the moments that stop us in our tracks, strip us bare, and force us to reckon with who we’ve become.
Welcome to the real behind-the-scenes of leadership.
When Grief Stacks, Your Energy Collapses
2025 hit me like a rogue wave.
Recently, losing my horse Coach Charlie, one of my herd’s beloved co-founders, was a shock that sliced straight through me. A dental check. A broken jaw. A tumour. And suddenly he was gone.
This came after losing Coach Toby earlier in the year, my steadfast companion of more than a decade. And underneath all that sat the grief I’d neatly avoided, packaged, and shelved… the deaths of both my parents in 2020 and 2023.
And then supporting my partner through a toxic work environment that drained the joy straight out of him.
Layer upon layer.
Loss upon loss.
Responsibility without room to breathe.
No wonder my body rebelled. My energy tanked. My habits spiralled. I found myself leaning into sugar like it might save me. Except it didn’t. It numbed me, distracted me, and left me exhausted.
Maybe you’ve been there too, carrying so much that you forget what lightness feels like.
Why Leaders Can’t See Themselves Clearly Until They Step Away
You know how horses lose awareness when they’re stuck in a tight space? Humans do the same.
Back home in the UK, I couldn’t see the cumulative weight of it all. I kept moving. Kept leading. Kept showing up. Blinkered. Focused only on what was right in front of me.
But the moment I landed in Thailand, the fog began to lift. A new environment expands perspective. Space invites truth.
And truth poured in.
I wasn’t just tired.
I was depleted at every level — physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.
Exactly what I teach leaders not to allow.
Nature’s wisdom is clear: winter exists for a reason. Things die back so new life can grow. But I’d been refusing winter. Pushing through. Performing resilience rather than living it.
Maybe you know that feeling — being “fine” on the outside while quietly falling apart on the inside.
Radical Rest: The Leadership Skill No One Teaches You
I booked this trip on a whim, but it turns out it wasn’t a holiday. It was an intervention.
A full mind-body-spirit detox. Two weeks of stripping back everything. No sugar. No chaos. No noise.
Just space. Breath. Reflection. Realignment.
And in that quiet?
I rediscovered myself.
I remembered what physical vitality feels like.
I remembered what emotional regulation feels like.
I remembered what mental clarity feels like.
And I remembered what spiritual grounding feels like.
Our health really is our wealth. And most leaders are bankrupt without knowing it.
Identity Loss: The Silent Crisis Hitting So Many Leaders
One unexpected gift of this trip was meeting Harry, a 70-year-old retiree who introduced me to a beautiful reframe.
Retirement, he said, is not “retiring” — it’s rewiring.
Resetting your identity.
Reconfiguring your purpose.
Redesigning your value in the world.
His words cracked something open in me.
Because when I left my corporate role at Deloitte, I also left behind the identity I’d spent years building. I’d been “Miss Hotel Benchmark” — the woman who created a global market-leading business unit from a concept on paper.
And then suddenly, I was no one.
And I realise now… I’ve spent the last 15 years searching for a new identity without even knowing it. No wonder I’ve felt unanchored. Untethered. Depleted.
So many leaders go through this — that silent grief of losing who you thought you were.
Maybe that’s you right now.
Rest Isn’t Self-Indulgent. It’s Strategic.
Here’s the truth: you cannot lead your team, your clients, or your business if you’re running on fumes.
Nature doesn’t apologise for needing a season of stillness.
Herd leaders don’t apologise for slowing the pace so the weakest can catch up.
And yet leaders in business constantly apologise for needing rest.
Let’s call that out for what it is:
A cultural delusion. One that burns out brilliant humans every day.
Whether it’s two weeks like me, or two hours carved out each week… you need time that is yours alone.
Not for family.
Not for friends.
Not for work.
Not for obligations.
Time for you.
To breathe.
To remember.
To restore.
To decide who you want to become next.
That is not indulgence.
It is the foundation of sustainable leadership.
The Rewilding of Julia: What’s Emerging Now
I’m still in the messy middle of this reinvention. I don’t know exactly who I’ll be at the end of week two. But I can feel a new clarity rising.
A sharper edge.
A deeper truth.
A more grounded presence.
And I know this: my ponies will need me more than ever when I return. Toby and Charlie were their anchors. Now I must become that anchor.
And to lead an ecosystem — whether a herd or a business — you must be resourced. Centred. Connected. Full.
Not depleted.
Not performing.
Not pretending.
So the question becomes…
Where Are You Putting Your Own Oxygen Mask On?
Because if you don’t…
Your team feels it.
Your clients feel it.
Your family feels it.
Your business feels it.
Everyone pays the price when a leader runs empty.
And everyone benefits when a leader rises full.
Your Invitation: Create Your Own Season of Renewal
You don’t need Thailand.
You don’t need a detox spa.
You don’t need two full weeks.
You just need time that is yours.
So here’s my challenge:
What is the one thing you can commit to this week that nourishes your physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual energy?
Choose one.
Protect it fiercely.
Let it be the start of your rewilding.
Because your team doesn’t need a superhuman version of you.
They need the present, grounded, alive version.
The one only you can give them.
If this episode lands with you, send me a message. I’d love to hear what you’re choosing for yourself this week.
Show Notes
In this heartfelt episode of ‘Impactful Teamwork,’ the host shares their personal journey of rest, reflection, and reinvention from Thailand. Prompted by a series of personal losses and the realization of unprocessed grief, the host emphasizes the necessity of taking time out from the daily grind to recharge physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Speaking from a detox retreat, the host discusses the significance of health in achieving business success and offers insights into the value of self-care and finding one’s identity post-retirement. Listeners are encouraged to carve out time for self-reflection to improve overall well-being and leadership efficacy.
00:00 Introduction and Purpose of the Episode
01:13 The Importance of Rest and Rejuvenation
01:59 Personal Losses and Grief
03:19 Realisations in Thailand
04:30 Detox and Health Journey
07:17 Discovering Detox Spas
10:32 Conversations and Epiphanies
12:56 The Need for Personal Time
15:03 Conclusion and Invitation to Reflect
